Today I was at Cleveland Clinic where my aunt is fighting to try to get lungs. I drove my mom out there to care for her and my uncle came back home with me. I was so glad to see her and that she looked so good.

I was saddened by how many people are awaiting transplants. Impressed by the facilities. Then witnessed a family who lost a loved one, clinging to each other, hardly able to stand, their grief so deep. 

Small reminders like this really help keep life in perspective. The garbage disposal is broken, the bathroom vanity is broken, the back hose is broken, the basement floor needs to be replaced, 4 rooms require painting…. Let me flip that…. My children are happy and healthy. My mom and brother live with me and we help each other. I have a job that helps support all of us. I have a nephew! A  sister-in-law! I didn’t know I’d have those for sure. So, who cares about the to do list. It will always be there. 

My house is messy. It is lived in. Nothing is for show. It’s about enjoying life and our family. Today made me realize how thankful I am to have so much family. To enjoy my children rather than maintain a spotless home. 

I have lungs that work. I have eyes that work (my disabled brother is nearly blind). I have so much more than so many. 

 Turn your to do list into a what am I thankful for list. Which one do you like better?

When I need to provide my last name and the last names of my two children I simply state that I’m a Jerry Springer show waiting to happen. Some laugh, some look at me like I’m crazy, others simply ignore it as they weren’t paying attention and didn’t really hear.

Two children, two different last names as they are each from two different marriages and neither match my current last name (maiden name) as I’m also divorced twice.

That story alone must be Jerry Springer worthy! Although I find myself running into more and more people who are in their 3rd and 4th marriages and less who are still married to their one and only.

This makes me sad. I didn’t anticipate or want this for myself or my children. I imagined my life with one man until death do us part, just as my grandparents lived. Ups and downs were navigated and if something was broke they fixed it and didn’t throw their marriage away. My grandfathers dying wish was to ensure my grandmother was well cared for. 

So how do I teach my children without my grandparents here and me divorced twice that you truly can enter into a marriage with a partner who will work with you til death do you part as long as you put in that work too? 

Hopefully I can help them learn from my mistakes, but any ideas on instilling the traditional value of working through those highs and lows and choosing a partner who means it when they say their vows?

– Diary of a “Jerry Springer” mom

Admit it, they feel comfy. No, you don’t exactly want to be seen in them due to the stereotypes associated with them.

I have a great story about them though that made me so very proud of my daughter. The summer before entering middle school (6th grade for us), I overheard her talking with a friend who was a grade ahead. She was sharing her “middle school” wisdom and said, “you won’t be able to wear those crocs when we start school.”

My daughter asked why thinking perhaps there was some sort of dress code. The response was, “you can’t be seen in those in middle school. Ewe.”

Without hesitation my daughter said, “I will wear these if I want and if you choose not to talk to me because I’m wearing them then that’s your choice and I understand.”

Where did my daughter get that kind of confidence? Personally, I would have succumbed to fit in. 

Hopefully that means I’m doing something right if my daughter is teaching me to accept who I am and not let the influence and opinions of others change me.

What would you have done? 

Diary of a “Crocs” mom