Good story. A friend was meeting me out of town at a hotel for a wedding and I asked what they would like to drink. They said F’ing cherry vodka.

This person knows I don’t swear. I don’t care if other people do, I just don’t. I feel the words don’t really add to what I’m trying to say so I choose not to swear and was raised that way. We didn’t swear at each other, in public, in our home, period.

So, I picked up some cherry flavored vodka and was the butt of a joke for quite some time. Apparantly, EFFEN, not F’ing, is a brand – a nice one now that I have been made aware and partaken.

It’s a story my friend loves to re-tell. How was I to know they were requesting a specific brand and not just being courteous because they know I don’t swear? Apparantly I don’t drink enough. I may EFFEN start making up for that 😉

I was fine when my daughter surpassed me in height in 6th grade (two years ago) because, well, most people surpass me in height. However, during our recent travels I had a very rude awakening.

We had done a day excursion at the Bahamas during our cruise (a first splurge for the three of us). I had all the proper documentation to be traveling with my two minors and as we went to exit the Bahamas to return to our ship, I handed said documentation to the border control agent and said this is all of my paperwork and that of my two minors.

I said minors deliberately because I think my daughter could pass for 18 even though she isn’t even in high school. He looked at me and said, “You mean the two minors who are taller than you? Go ahead through.”

As he chuckled to himself, my kids burst out in hysterics. I looked at my 9 year old son, who is still a foot shorter, and noted that no, he hadn’t mysteriously grown that day. It probably is not long though before he is taller.

I’m going to be 45 this year and I feel like I just graduated college the other day. How did all this happen? I know I’m not the only one in this boat. Kids are growing bigger and taller than ever and now that we’re conscious of the unintended side effects of growth hormones and antibiotics in our foods that are now going away, my kids children likely won’t be taller than them and they won’t have to experience the strangeness of being towered by an 8th grader.

By the time I can save for another vacation like this it likely will be my two minors who are taller than me. Darn that border patrol man for pointing out something I can’t change even with high wedges!!!

Isn’t is amazing how many people decide to start something they feel they need to change about themselves on the first of the year? This year, I have decided not to waste time with the empty promises of: work out more, eat healthier, take better care of myself and/or manage to a budget. Why? Because things do change so quickly and I don’t like setting myself to fail.

When I wake up, each day, I say I’m going to do the best I can and when I finally get to lay my head down I feel good saying given all the factors thrown at me that day, I did the best I could. Number one priority is always my children and it makes managing my day and my life so much better.

Previously, I would waste time pondering if I should spend money on something or if I should be saving it for their future. If I should go to that party because someone else wants me there but I would rather use my time another way. If I should fill the car, get groceries, do laundry, clean off the kitchen counters this very urgent moment?

I wipe the slate clean every day, reflect on the past for those things I really want to learn from and look forward to enjoying the day as much as I can because time with my children can’t wait. Everything else can.

My children are on different visitation schedules with their dads (see Jerry Springer post). Sometimes it is especially nice because I get more one on one time with them. Sometimes I’m selfish and wish I had every other weekend free. I know deep down I don’t wish that because I enjoy every moment with them but sometimes I’m tired.

Exhausted really from trying to be so many things to so many people. The worst is when I asked one of the exes why he isn’t doing overnights anymore. His response, I need to catch up on my sleep on my days off.

Oh, well I work 60-70 hours a week but I don’t need sleep so of course, I shall be on all day every day because there isn’t another parent who will. 

I was a good five or six years into my career when I discovered Coach purses. All of the women I worked with had some sort of high end brand purse and I wanted to ‘fit in’. I used my credit card points to buy a simple black briefcase and then it became tradition for several years I would turn in my points and treat myself to that for Mother’s Day.

I’ve sold all but the three I use the most because I finally realized although the cheap purses break quickly, they are functional and how many purses do I really need? I wouldn’t have come to that realization were it not for my children.

I would rather have money for them. I wonder how people who do not have custody of their children but have visitation and child support have the nerve to not pay or feel the financial responsibility for their children. I make sure my children have what they need before I do anything for myself. 

My neighbor always has her hair and nails done and new clothes all the time while her son has five outfits and she complains how she doesn’t have a lawn mower (can she use mine) but drives a huge suburban.

I guess this is a general financial soap box post. I’m at a point where I wish I had bought less things and put money away so I wouldn’t have debt now and we could take a vacation and do more.

Guess admission means I’m half way there right? Now the hard part…. Sticking to a budget to pay off the revolving debt. No desire for Coach purses so that will help (although I always used reward points for them).

What’s your financial soap box gripe?

2 am and my mom (she lives my children and I) wakes me saying she’s sorry but she can’t get Chewy (our aptly name chi-Pom mix) to come back in. I go outside to see him with something gray and fluffy and looks like a kitten in his mouth.

I grab a broom and run after him which makes him drop the furry baby and he runs back into the house. As I approach to see if this poor baby kitten is still alive I notice the hair on its tail is all gone. 

It appears to be breathing but is laying there motionless. I grab the dustpan and go to sweep this poor thing when it jumps up, hisses at me and I realize it’s a baby possum. I scream and run, sigh, yes like the stereotypical girl as the possum slowly skeedatals away. 

I’m 40 something years old and finally realized why they call it ‘playing possum.’

Sometimes I think I want a “do over” but quickly realize I wouldn’t have my children as they are today and I nix the idea.

Recently I’ve been thinking more about a fresh start. Leave my position, cash in my 401k and eat the penalty because it’s probably worth it compared to the high interest rate on all the revolving debt I have. The reality is that could work, but it wouldn’t work where I’m living now. I’d need to move to an area where the cost of living isn’t so high.

Again, doable. I went immediately on for my masters knowing I’d likely want to teach. So, if a university in a more affordable area took me on the next challenge would be the kids. I could entice them with a nicer home and annual vacations (because revolving debt would be gone). Can I take them away from their dads?

Yup, I said dads with an ‘s’. See my Jerry Springer post.

One would willingly go. The other has a better relationship with their dad. I guess it depends on how far we are talking. 

My other idea is an up cycled art store, giving old things new life and keeping them out of the trash.

Both risky. Both really interesting to me. Both not even close to what I’m making now and I still have debt.

Sigh. Is this a mid-life crisis?